Ambrielle Butler

Howdy, folks! I hope everyone is having an excellent February filled with wonderful insight and writing. Today’s subject is something I’ve become intimately acquainted with over the years as a writer. It’s an important step to progress, yet one that often feels like a setback. I’m, of course, talking about failure. Rejection. Redirection. However you want to define it, at some point in every author’s career they’re told the dreaded word: no.

So how do you push past it?

I’ve heard my fair share of “no”. Whether it was the poem that was rejected 40 times before getting an acceptance, the hundreds of queries passed on before I found my current super agent , or even the sting of having a book die on sub, rejection and I have become close friends. Best buds.

Rejection sucks. Of course it does. No matter how much I try to avoid the little pest, it inevitably pops back into my email inbox.

So what’s an author to do? Never submit again? Never put pen to paper because it’s just too painful? (A note: there is no shame in taking breaks. Good authors also know when their creativity is being sapped by publishing, which is a business and operates as such.)

As much as I may want to curl up in a ball, stuff my silly little stories into a drawer, and never be hurt again, I know I can’t. I want to share my writing with the world. I write for connection and understanding, to help others see themselves in my work and process the horrors on the page so they can face their own in reality. And so when failure comes knocking at my door, I celebrate it. This is not an easy task. I’ve even taken to setting monthly goals of how many rejections I’d like to receive (I’m currently at 3/5 on my lit mag rejections, if any others would like to get me to my goal faster).

Years of writing has taught me this truth: Rejection is a vital part of the process because every “no” I’ve received has eventually led me closer to my yes.

Rejection is a vital part of the process because every “no” I’ve received has eventually led me closer to my yes.

Those 40 other lit mags said no to my poem. But the editor who said “yes” became a close mentor and has not only published more of my work, but worked with me on interviews and offered guidance when considering future career opportunities. Those hundreds of queries that agents passed on? They helped me find my niche and my genre. I initially was writing picture books before I realized maybe I wanted to write novels. And not just any novels, but horror, a genre I had always loved writing but was worried people would view my stuff as “too weird” or “too creepy”. Turns out that several agents really loved what I had to say. And while I loved that first book that died on sub, years later I can see how much my writing has improved. I’m okay knowing that the first book I wrote won’t be my first book the world reads. Maybe I’ll come back to it. Maybe it’ll still be waiting for me years down the road.

I’m still waiting on some yeses. I’ll probably get a whole lot more no’s before I get there. That’s okay. I’m enjoying the journey, wherever it takes me. So should you.

In the meantime, all we can do is dust ourselves off and write through the heartache. Maybe, just maybe, that thing you write out of failure will be your greatest success.

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